Why does anybody pitch to him?I know, he’s got a Hall-Of-Famer named Manny Ramirez watching his back. But seriously, at what point do you just say “fuck it” and take your chances with Manny? The White Sox did just that, intentionally walking Ortiz with runners on second and third. That, of course, came after Ortizzle’s two-run blast earlier in the game. Homerun number thirty and RBI’s 83 and 84 on the year. Yes, today is July 8th with two games left until the All-Star break. We’re talking about a guy hitting .317 with runners in scoring position and two outs. A guy hitting .400 with bases loaded, and .412 with runners on during the late inning press. Is he the most feared hitter in the game? He simply has to be. Pitchers must stand on the mound and see the grim reaper holding a bat. Look for his IBB stat to be on the rise in the second half.

Can we just give him the MVP right now?Do we have to really wait until the end of the year? Do we really have to compare him against A-Fraud? Do we really have to debate whether or not a DH should be awarded MVP? Look at what David Ortiz is doing. He cannot be human. I think some mad scientist who probably looks like a cross between Christopher Lloyd and Christopher Walken, took Mo Vaughn to his underground lab and replaced any imperfect parts with alien ones from a planet where hitting a ball 450 feet with a stick is as commonplace as walking to us, and where applying pressure to a situation makes that species perform better. There is no other explanation for what he is doing.

Who is cooler than Big Papi?With the possible exception of Will Smith, who can even hold a candle to the big man? He does all the things he does, and remains humble and appreciative and unless he’s at home plate ready to hit the ball a country mile, he’s got a smile plastered across his face. He plays the game the way it was meant to be played, doesn’t measure his worth by looking at his paycheck, and just goes out and wins games. Off the field, he’s got the charisma and that adorable broken-English thing going on that makes everyone want to smile and be a Red Sox fan.

Nothing you haven’t read before about Ortiz, but it bears repeating. The guy has something magical going on right now and it should not be missed. Elsewhere, the Yankees won an old-fashioned pitching duel 1-0 with Mr. Wright getting the win. John Lackey pitched a near-perfecto, giving up just one hit. Nomah homered.

And the World Cup has been cancelled, France surrendered.